Last April when I planted my pumpkin seeds, I was dreaming of pumpkin pie, pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin soup, pumpkin pancakes and, well, just all things pumpkin. But one thing I wasn’t thinking about was pumpkin spice, a trend that has literally taken over the fall season.
It sent me on a quest to understand what’s up with this spice combination. Clearly it’s not about the pumpkin taste, since this blend does not have one ounce of pumpkin in it … not a smidgeon or a pinch or a dash or even a suggestion of pumpkin flavor.
So, what is it? It’s a mixture of cinnamon, cloves, ginger, nutmeg and sometimes allspice. Are you paying attention? No pumpkin! In a season of trick-or-treating, this is one big trick! My search for understanding of this pumpkin-less phenomenon led me to another shocking discovery. The canned pumpkin my grandma uses to make her award-winning pumpkin pie (at least in my book) is not … are you ready for this … pumpkin. What!?
It’s true. The sole ingredient in Libby’s,the most popular canned pumpkin, is cucurbia moschata, a type of squash also known as Dickinson gourd. It’s similar in shape and size to a butternut squash but very far removed from the species most jack-o-lanterns are carved from. You’d be hard-pressed to carve anything other than you initials on this gourd.
What a ruse! Yet another trick-or-treat gambit, leaving me once again feeling swindled, defrauded and cheated out of my first delicious bite of the de facto culinary icon of the season … pumpkin pie! The experience is forever changed for me knowing that the pumpkin is really a spiced-up squash interloper.
And everywhere I turn, I am reminded of this overwhelming fraud perpetuated on all of us pumpkin lovers. The pumpkin spice flavor-of-the-month marketing ploy has brought us an overflowing cornucopia of products infused with this no-it-does-not-taste-like-pumpkin seasoning and include (pardon my editorial comments, unless you agree!):
Pumpkin spice french fries - Never.
Bailey’s pumpkin spice Irish Cream - Maybe in my coffee.
Pumpkin spice Cheerios - Why?
Pumpkin spice Triscuit - Served with what?
Pumpkin spice wine - If you’re desperate.
Pumpkin spice chocolate truffles - Chocolate would never be the same for me.
Pumpkin spice latte Peeps - Who eats Peeps of any flavor?
Chipotle pumpkin spice salsa - Ok, perhaps with the right chip.
Pumpkin spice marshmallows - Not even on S’mores.
Pumpkin spice moonshine - Hmmm … a possibility.
Pumpkin spice pretzel nuggets - Yuck.
Pumpkin spice Mini Wheats - Does the milk turn orange?
Nestle pumpkin spice morsels - Not in my cookies.
Keebler pumpkin spice fudge stripe cookies - No, just wrong.
Pumpkin spice coffee liqueur - Again, depends on the morning.
Pumpkin spice stuffed pretzel - Maybe deep fried.
Pumpkin spice caramel corn - Nope!
Pumpkin spice almonds - In with trail mix?
Pumpkin spice M&Ms - No, no, no!
I refuse to be drawn into buying any of these seasonal sensations. Of course, if some bright botanist comes up with a pumpkin spice pumpkin I can grow, I might reconsider.